


I Want It That Way

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Implied Smut, no amelia, set between s7 and s8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 18:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15030662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: Request: Sam x reader plz to I want it that way by the backstreet boys.





	I Want It That Way

He stood silently in the middle of the room watching her sleep. Watching her breath. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful lying there spread out across the bed. He kept watching her. Her Y/H/C almost floating across the pillow, the way her lips curled up a bit when she breathe in air, the way the silver moonlight slipping in through the window made her naked back almost glisten. The sheets falling gently over her legs and her ass. He traced every line of her body with his eyes. The lines and curves he had gotten to know so well this past year. How to touch her to make her arche of the bed, when to be gentle and when to let go making her scream his name as she came collapsing against him. Christ he could almost hear her, feel her, taste her. She had been his fire, his one desire for so long. He didn’t want to walk away, but he had to. He had no choice.

Sam carefully walked over to the bed and pressed a soft kiss against her temple before grabbed his backpack and walked out the door into the hallway. He closed his eyes and he almost turned around and crawled back into bed with her as a memory came flushing through his head.

_“Give it back,” Sam ran after you through the living room up the stairs and into the bedroom. He stopped and stared at you from the other side of the bed. Enjoying the sight of how you threw your head back when you laughed. How your eyes sparkled when you flipped through the pages in the book._

_“Serial killers?” you looked back up into his eyes still safe with the bed between you, “really Sam? Should I be worried about whom I am moving in with here?”_

_Sam felt a pinch in his heart as he thought “yes you should” but he was not going to let you see his worry. His fear that someday his old life would come back to haunt him. Instead he flung himself across the bed and grabbed you by the waist before you had any time to react. You squealed with laughter as you fell and your attempts to fight him off failed._

_Sam pulled the book from your hands and threw it across the floor as he pinned your hands down over your head and captured your body between his and the madras._

_“Very very worried,” Sam smiled down at you as you were still squirming beneath him fighting to get free. After a few seconds you seemed to surrender, “Oh yeah Winchester? What are you gonna do to me? Cut me in to pieces,” you laughed as you tried to raise your head enough for your lips to catch his but he moved._

_“No” a grin slide across Sam’s face as he secured your hands beneath just one of his letting two long fingers from his now free hand travel down your arm, down your chest between your breasts. Down her stomach until he reached the waistband of your pants slowly running his fingers inside it at he kept staring into your eyes, “but I am going to have to teach you a lesson.”_

_He smiled as he watched you bit your lip and your eyes darken with lust before he pressed his lips against yours._

Sam took a deep breath and opened his eyes. This never would have worked. He knew that. He had allowed himself to forget that for a while but his brother’s call had pulled him back to reality. Her and him were form two different worlds and he had to go. He needed to see his brother. Dean! He was alive and he had failed him. He had let him down yet again. There was nothing he could do but walk out that door. To try and make it up to his brother and leave her to keep her safe. A single tear fell down his cheek as he quietly made his way down the hall. Past the bathroom where the scents of her shampoo still lingered in the air. Down the stairs past the shoes she had kicked off on her way to bed. Sam smiled as he bent down and picked them up like he had so many times.

_“You are a mess” Sam called after you as he smilingly picked up the shoes you had kicked off in the hallway and gathered your jacket and scarf from the table._

_You leaned down over the rails from upstairs tilting your head as you looked down at him. Your eyes were sparkling as you laughed at him, “I know! That’s why I got you aint it?”_

Sam carried her shoes down the stairs and put them in a corner where he knew she wouldn’t trip over them in the morning. His nightly movements through the house made Riot lift his head from the basket where he had been sleeping, “stay,” whispered as he approached the dog that calmly lowered his head back down to rest. Sam knelt beside it and started to pet it, “good boy,” he whispered as he caressed the dogs face, remembering how he had hit him with the impala that night Y/N and Riot had crashed into his life.

_Sam jumped out of the car and up to you where you were kneeling beside the dog, “I am so sorry!! Is he gonna be okay?”_

_“I…I don’t know,” you looked up at him. Tears were streaming down your face and you turned the attention back to the dog. “Riot please stay with me,” you caressed the dog as it whimpered on the ground. Sam stood frozen. He had no idea what to do. It was as if his mind went blank. It not being able to take any more pain or suffering it had just shut down until he heard her voice again as her eyes found his, “help us please!”_

_Her plea had been what hat woken him back up, “sure offcourse,” he replied as he quickly bend down and picked the dog up. “Open the back door,” he called over his shoulder and you ran past him as he safely and gently carried the Australian Shepherd back to the impala._

He had driven them both to the vet that night. He remembered how she had yelled at him in the car when she finally started to come too. How he had said nothing. Just let her get out all of her rage but felt every word. Taking the blame as he deserved it. He should have been more careful. He should never have closed his eyes. Not even for a split second.

He remembered how she had held on to his hand when he tried to leave the vet. How she had begged him to stay until her dog was out of surgery and he had. Against his better judgment he had stayed. There had been something about her. Something that had drawn him in. He knew then it had been a mistake but he had held her as she cried. He had visited her to make sure both her and Riot was going to be fine. He had said yes when she asked him to stay for dinner and he had been the one to kiss her in the doorway that night and he hadn’t resisted when she had pulled him back inside and lead him upstairs to her bed. He had known then it would be a mistake, but he needed her. He needed her to help him heal. To feel something else but the pain of the loss of his brother. He needed her to take care of him and he needed to take care of her. So he had. One night had turned into a week and a week in to a month. A month into a year and now here he was sneaking out of your door in the middle of the night. Leaving you with nothing but heartache. Yes he had known it would have been a mistake to stay. 

Sam ran his hands through Riots fur one last time before he got back up, “bye boy,” he whispered and turned around to head out into the entre but when his eyes caught the couch another memory hit him.

_You snuggled up to Sam. Resting your head against his shoulder as you drew circles with your fingers on his chest. Watching it move up and down. Feeling his arm pull you tighter against him as you both stared into the fire place. You had just finished telling him about how you had grown up an only child and how your parents had both died in a car crash a few months ago. As you talked about them you had felt his body tense up but you had left it alone for a while and you had just sat there in silence for a while._

_Then Sam had swallowed slowly and he began to talk. He had never told you what exactly his brother did do. Only that he had died protecting people from monsters. He told you how he had been the best at his job and how he’d been a hero. He told you have Dean had practically raised him since their mother had died when they were young and their dad had been away on business a lot. You picked up on the pride behind the sadness when he spoke of Dean._

Another tear fell down Sam’s face as he remembered how he had felt that night. How he had never thought he was going to see his brother again. How Y/N had held him and told him it was going to be alright. She had assured him they had each other now and that she wouldn’t let him go. She wouldn’t let him go. Sam swallowed as he fought back the tears. That was what he was doing. Letting her go. Leaving her alone with her grief but what else could he do. This way she would not be in danger. This way she would survive. This way maybe he could make things up to his brother.

Sam took a deep breath and swung the back pack over his shoulder before he turned around and walked out the front door. The same door he had stood in when he had kissed her for the first time. She same door he had carried Riot through when they got back from the vet. The same door he had frozen in when he got back from picking up college applications and she had jumped out in front of him from the kitchen wearing a birthday had with a cake in her hand, “Happy birthday Sam! I love you!”

The words rang in his years as he locked the door behind him for one last time. Wishing there was a way he could tell her one last time, “I love you too Y/N” but there wasn’t so he made his way down the driveway. Down the street towards the highway, the cabin and his brother. Leaving the house he had called home, his dog and her behind as tears feel from his eyes    


End file.
